chimp on rocks

Why Did You Open This Downer Of A Store?

Welcome to Bitter Threads, a quark sized particle in the vast internet of gloppiness that has resignedly thrown its wee sized hands in the air and declared, "SCREW THIS."

I wish this website was a profit-churning e-commerce machine but no, here you're entering the dark alleyway of life with one flickering neon light shining way too brightly at 3 am on the face of reality that you've been liplocked with since the bar closed. Ew!

Bitter Face

The Genesis of Gloom

Every day, I meander through the quagmire of our reality and it's like living in a constant state of suspended disbelief. The world, with its glittering facade and rotten core, has pushed me to a point where my own hypocrisy is eating me alive. Bitter Threads is my way of coping without imploding.

I've tried the traditional route – making things and shoveling my apparel down people's throats. But let's face it, I hate marketing. Marketing is about shouting from the rooftops how incredible your product is. It's about convincing folks they've been living a half-life without what you're selling, highlighting the life-changing benefits they'll reap by parting with their hard-earned cash. At my very core, however, lies a stark disbelief in consumerism. 

I now practice unmarketing. My apparel won't change anything in your life. Well it might spark an unpleasant conversation but that's about it.

The Bitter Truth 

I created Bitter Threads because it is fun for me. It's first a blog and then a store for anyone who wants a shirt imbued with dark humor and despair; perfect for the thoroughly disillusioned misanthrope and hater of all of humanity (aka women in menopause.)

If you're here looking for inspirational quotes plastered on a bright yellow T-shirt that featuring a graphic of a Bee and the word 'Kind" made in distant factories, you've taken a very wrong turn. My products are for those who appreciate the kind of humor that makes you question if you're actually a good person. (I'm here to tell you that you're not and isn't it a RELIEF to acknowledge it aloud?)


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