Welcome to Bitter Threads, a quark sized particle in the vast internet of gloppiness that has resignedly thrown its wee sized hands in the air and declared, "SCREW THIS."
I wish this website was a profit-churning e-commerce machine spitting out positive affirmations but no, here you're entering the dark alleyway of life with one flickering neon light shining way too brightly at 3 am on the face of reality that you've been liplocked with since the bar closed. Ew!
But, that means I get to write and do whatever I want. I can write downer and dark musings under the moniker Maura Less. I can print unfun t-shirts that say what you are really thinking. I can write blog posts about topics that have absolutely nothing to do with selling clothing or SEO. Oh joy!!!
The Bitter Truth
I created Bitter Threads because it is fun for me. It's first a blog and then a store for anyone who wants a shirt imbued with dark humor and despair; perfect for the thoroughly disillusioned misanthrope and hater of all of humanity (aka women in menopause.)
I also make unique clothing with a focus on comfort & functionality like P05K™ Waist Pockets and MoonEaze™ Union Suits that are apparently so weird landed in Huff Post's Weird Gift Guide (honored!)
My products are for those of us who appreciate the kind of humor that makes you question if you're actually a good person. (I'm here to tell you that you're not and isn't it a RELIEF to acknowledge it aloud?)
About Me
As I sat in the parking lot of E-Bay prepping for a job interview I prepped by emptying my breasts. I was already late. My brain was trying to work through a fog of sleep deprivation, latching on issues, colic and baby poop and I could not muster the much needed vocabulary and mental acuity to secure a position as a product manager in the myE-bay tools department.
Baby Wit
I began searching for something I could do from home and saw an opening in the baby clothing market for hip baby clothes. In 2004 I launched Baby Wit LLC into a market devoid of skulls, Sid Vicious and anything mentioning alternative lifestyles. I was the first to market with a Ramones baby one piece and partnered with Sonic Youth to put the Dirty album cover onto baby clothing.
MoonEaze™
I developed MoonEaze™ in 2007 for my infant son because I was tired of all the endless snaps, buttons and zippers. I created a romper for babies to make it easier for caregivers to check and change diapers.
Back then it was known as a Yanker® or a Yank-N-Go. Unfortunately I let our trademark lapse (oopsy daisy) and it was taken over by Crank Yankers® for their t-shirt line. I didn't fight too hard for it because it seemed a more appropriate name for puppets making crank calls.
In 2019 I designed a MoonEaze™ suit for women. MoonEaze™ can be worn alone as a one piece but the functionality of MoonEaze™ shine most when you are bundled up in a few layers and have to pee because you don't have to take your top or jacket off.
I am nearly done with a men's version of MoonEaze™ but am stuck a bit on the neckline unsure if men would wear an envelope neckline.
Makers Outlet
In the Winter of 2021, with a grant from the Portland Business Alliance, I launched the Makers Outlet, a large holiday pop up shop located downtown carrying closeouts, samples and seconds from local makers.
P05K™
In 2022 I created my P05K™ waist pockets belt skirt after working a bazaar and really hating my apron.
Bitter Threads™
In the Spring of 2024 I became quite depressed and started writing a blog and making bitter tees based on my blog.
Resterwear LLC is a small, Portland, Oregon-based woman owned company and despite my ill-advised humor, I am generally a nice person.
